How are you?

I hate when people ask, "How are you?" The usual answer is, "I'm fine, you?" Everyone knows that's not completely true?
Well, let's see how I am...
Everyone keeps dying and I'm waiting to see how long it takes before it's my turn to lose someone close. My mom just yells and yells at me and makes personal insults and it's not getting any better. I'm drifting farther away from people I never should have let go. I can't stand my dad's girlfriend. The only way I can tolerate her is if I start doing drugs or something (I'm not on drugs). I'm ashamed of the people I'm surrounded by. I've had more panic attacks than I can count. My mom and aunt don't speak to each other and I'm still certain it's my fault and no one knows it. I can feel myself falling apart. I'm losing my confidence. People say they like me but I know they hate me, but there's nothing I can do about it.
And I'm just getting started.
We don't say all that because we don't want to pass our burdens down to others. If we don't say anything, then we feel like we're bottling our emotions and that makes us feel bad. If we say what's wrong, we think we're too whiny for people to handle, which also makes us feel bad.

How's life? Well, better than death.