One Hell of a Place

In my Literature class, we were reading Dante's Inferno and we had to make a travel brochure for Hell. Here is a little of what I put:

First Circle - Limbo: Complete with green fields and a castle, visitors will see people too good for Hell but not good enough for heaven. They may even get to meet people like Virgil, Homer, and Julius Caesar!
Second Circle - Lust: Bring umbrellas, hats, and any other protection for heavy winds and violent storms. Also, bring your camera if you get to see Cleopatra, Helen of Troy, and Achilles!
Third Circle - Gluttony: Known for its icy rain, but kids will enjoy the slush it leaves behind!
Fourth Circle - Greed: Plutus guards as two groups battle in the sport of joust. Guests will be able to view this at any time on any day!
Fifth Circle - Wrathful and Sullen: Enjoy a gondola ride down the swamp-like Styx River with sullen souls lying beneath the water. Meanwhile, guests will watch the wrathful fight during their visit.
Sixth Circle - Heresy: Consists of those who rejected religious beliefs. Expect to see flaming tombs, so bring sunglasses!
Seventh Circle - Violence: Enjoy a hot spring in the Phlegethon River of boiling blood. Take a nature walk as suicide victims transform into bushes and trees, but watch out for the dogs! Prepare for hot, beach-like weather in the desert of flaming sand!
Eighth Circle - Fraud: Sky-dive with three-headed Geryon into the Ten Bolgias of the Eighth Circle! Enjoy rock-climbing, astrologists with backwards heads, devils performing black comedy, and a fire-breathing dragon!
Ninth Circle - Betrayal: In the final circle of Hell, enjoy ice-skating on Cocytus, a lake of ice with traitors immersed inside. In the center, get your picture taken with Satan!

Packages:
See You in Hell: Visit Circles 1-3 for three days. Includes a great view of nature, a bedroom in a castle, and nice, cool temperatures. Price: Life of laziness and desire
Go to Hell: Visit Circles 1-6 for five days. Includes free tickets to jousting tournaments, a gondola ride in the Styx River, and security brought to you by fallen angels. Price: Life of cynicism and rebellion
Burn in Hell: Visit all 9 Circles for one week. Includes a hot spring, sky-diving, hot temperatures, ice-skating, and a chance to meet Satan! Price: Life of ambition and temper