Oh, no, she's getting preachy on us

I was going to post this tomorrow but I couldn't wait lol

Angie asked her daughter, Lexi, what she was thankful for. She replied, "I don't know. There are so many things!"
Angie smiled. "Let's go for a drive. I want to show you something."
After driving a while in their heated Mercedes, Lexi told Angie, "Didn't Daddy said this was a bad neighborhood?"
Angie simply replied, "Let me show you why."
As Angie drove down a side street, Lexi looked at what was outside the window. There was a man dressed as an elf in front of a Walgreen's.
"What are they for again?" she asked her mom.
"They're from the Salvation Army," Angie explained. "The money goes to people who can't have food, clothes, a house, things like that."
Later, they saw a woman and three young children huddled together. "Mommy, they look cold!" Lexi exclaimed.
Angie nodded. "Well, they're homeless. They don't have a heater or a roof over their heads."
Clouds were forming rapidly at the time. Lexi wanted to give them all the blankets on her bed.
"No mattress either, huh?" Lexi added.
Angie nodded. "That's right."
They finally reached a soup kitchen. People were lined up for what Lexi thought seemed like a mile.
"Why are these people all lined up?" Lexi asked her mom.
Angie explained, "They're waiting for their food."
"Yeah, if we're lucky," an elderly man in line added. He looked like he hadn't seen a razor or shower in weeks.
"Remember, Uncle Lester used to work here," Angie reminded Lexi.
"Oh, yeah." Lexi remembered how nasty she thought the food was. Angie refused to let her daughter eat any of it.
On their way home, Angie asked again, "Honey, what are you thankful for."
Lexi looked up at Angie with tears in her eyes. "God."
Angie smiled. "Why is that?" She knew the answer.
"We must be doing something right if He gave us all the stuff these guys don't. It's like, He does a lot for us, and we do nothing back." She hesitated. "I just wanted to let them warm up in our car, give them the rest of our food, give them a blanket, let them spend the night at my house, give them some of my toys so they're not so bored."
Angie patted her daughter on the head. "Daddy would've been so proud of you."

Forced

She walks down the aisle with the ugliest smile. She's not even looking at the groom; she's looking at everyone else as if to say, "Look at me, I'm getting married, told ya so."
The groom has done this before but he fakes a smile as he pretends to look at his bride.
Once they finally see eye-to-eye, their smiles quickly drop into frowns. It's almost as if they're strangers. The bride looks down and continues walking, still sort of smiling.
The groom sees what she's holding in her hands; it's not a bouquet, it's a whip. He shudders but still smiles; it's just another thing he's seen before.
The groom's oldest had vowed not to come; she is just blocks away trying marijuana with some 'friends.'
His other two kids are in the front row. One would rather be anywhere but there, the other feels indifferent.
The bride's kid is there, too. It's hard to tell how she feels.
The bride and groom meet at the altar and pull their masks down. At last, they look happy; now they see each other with a sense of familiarity.
Once they say, "I do," everyone lowers their heads in shame.

"Reality"

They say that nothing on reality TV is real. If you ask me, nothing in reality is real, either.
Think about it. Everyone is like a person on reality TV. They talk like they know everything but, when they're at a party or something, they're totally immature (then act as if they're more mature than everyone else).
Then there is the obvious reason: People are fake. They look interested but you can tell they're not. They make fake promises and say nothing but bullshit (excuse me).
And then you have the characters that say cliche sayings like it's their job. You know, the annoying loser who won't shut up.
You have the beautiful girls falling for the total jerks, her friends telling her it's wrong, the girl not listening, and total chaos ensues. If she's lucky, she finds out the hard way how right her friends are; however, some people never learn.
Then there is the character that shows up every now and then. You don't know what to make of them; you don't hate them, but they're not exactly your best friend in the world.

Driving can't calm me down

Going faster doesn't take me away from it all. Slamming my foot on the gas doesn't exert any anger I'm feeling. Turning up my radio doesn't drown out all the voices in my head. Traveling farther would somehow bring me back to where I started.
Basically all I'm saying is that driving doesn't calm me down as much as it used to.

I really don't get it

Things should be going great. My grades have never been better. I'm getting along with more people than I expected. People take me (somewhat) seriously. I've taken my schoolwork seriously, and it's really paying off. My mom is having my half-sister in early March (late February?).
Yet there's something missing...
Ever since the school year started, I've been getting stomachaches that'd last days. I've stressed out about my mom's pregnancy that, at one point, I had a panic attack (nothing I'm not new to). I'm never satisfied with my grades, even though they're mostly A's. On my practice ACT, I got a 23, yet I wasn't happy with that; everyone else was impressed, but I'm still trying to figure out what's so special. I've never been so hard on myself as a person. I feel as if I have such a short attention span that I don't deserve anyone paying attention to me and that I won't be able to do anything with my life since I can't focus on anything; yet people tell me I could do anything I want with my grades.
Out of nowhere today, I knew something was wrong. The only problem was I didn't know what it was. I feel as if I'm missing something in my life, but I'm not sure what that something is.

So much for dreams coming true

I'm realizing I'm a pessimist in denial. I try to be optimistic, then I say stuff like this

Here is why I don't consider myself close with my family: We all hate each other. Here is proof: My mom hasn't talked to my aunt in years, and now she's mad at my cousin about something (I really don't want to get into that) and is suing my cousin for not returning some communion dress but, truth be told, I think my mom is just bitter. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, I don't like to see her unhappy; however, I hate how she tries to justifies the fact that she loves driving our family apart. I could go on and on about that...
Anyway, last night I had the best dream ever. I was at my grandpa's old house with all my cousins and my aunt and we were all getting along literally as if nothing happened. The exact second I told myself that this was real, I'd convinced myself I wasn't dreaming, and I was completely content...I woke up. I'm not kidding...
I woke up realizing that it will never happen. Our family won't ever be all together again. We can never be the same. There will always be someone that will take their bitterness too far. No one will admit their fault. We're all going to find excuses why it's OK to hate your own family. We always find something wrong with each other. I'm sick of people telling me we're a close family; trust me, we're not.

In the words of the wise, when the fire dies, you think it's over, but it's just begun - Avenged Sevenfold

I sensed the end

A few years back, my best friend (at the time) and I were having some problems. Let's just say we were fighting a lot and I was just being a bitch. Anyway, we hung out at this park we went to all the time. Everything seemed to be just fine, like nothing really happened.

However, I could tell this would be the last time we'd see each other. I can't really describe it; I just knew. It's like something inside my head told me, "You'll never have this again." I refused to believe it, to confront it. I just wanted to live in this moment for as long as I could because I knew I wouldn't have another last day with her. I wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could.

Soon after, we did grow apart. Maybe it was for the best. But, I have to say, I wasn't too surprised. We had that last day together, and I'll remember everything we'd been through, good and bad. I look back and I'm glad I never said, "Hey, this is the end of our friendship, huh?" Why ruin a good thing?

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts -"I hate this part" by Pussycat Dolls