I haven't published a blog in, like, 3 weeks, wow! I hate using this excuse, but school has been keeping me busy. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for college, but I'm still kind of clueless. Seriously, I change my mind everyday about what I want to do. I wish I had another year of high school just to explore more classes (I'm a junior right now).
My mom tells me I should start at a 2-year college, but I'm not happy with that at all. First off, I'd see myself as a failure. More importantly, however, I just want an excuse to move out! But I guess 2-year colleges are ideal for people who don't know what they want to do yet and you get your dumb classes out of the way...I'll still try my luck at universities. I should look into scholarships and financial aid that could help.
Money could be a problem, especially with the recession, my sister graduating middle school and having her Confirmation, my dad getting married (not sure when, I'm not excited about it in the least), and my mom having a baby next month.
It's not that my grades are bad. My GPA right now is (I think) 3.28, I get A's and B+'s, and the last practice ACT I took was a 24 (ACT test is April 4th, *cringe*). I've been told my grades are very good and I should have no problem getting into college. Still, I don't know where I want to go or what I want to do. I only know I want to minor in Communications. I want to major in something having to do with either Math or Computers. I could learn about banking (since I don't have the slightest idea what a bank does), but I'm positive I'll be bored out of my flipping mind if I do that.
My mom and stepdad want me to do something with the medical field...sorry, but you might as well kill me now, because there is no way I'm doing that. I have my reasons... They're mostly concerned with what makes the most money and what always has jobs open. Right now, I can't get a job to save my life since the economy is so bad. Anyway, I'm not doing something they want me to do just because they missed their chance in college...I should stop there before it gets too personal.
Next year I'll see if I can take a class dealing with computer graphics because that seems like something I'd like. I also want to take pre-cal since taking a 4th year of math classes looks good on college applications. I'll try to get into Spanish 3 just so my parents stop telling me, "You should've taken a third year of Spanish." Also, Spanish was a good class for me; I see nothing wrong with another year.
I just remembered, I was going to take this time to work on a scholarship! Well, I'd better get to work.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Karate Kid & Jett Travolta
Last night, my youth group and I watched part of the original "Karate Kid" movie. We saw how the instructor (I can't spell his name) was teaching Daniel karate, but it was an unusual way of teaching. At first, he'd tell Daniel to wax his cars, paint his house and fence, and sand his floors. It's amazing that Daniel kept coming back, even though this didn't seem like karate. After the instructor came back from fishing while Daniel spent the day painting his house was the only time he lost his patience. This is when Daniel put his 'skills' to work; he saw that those techniques he used to do the household chores actually helped him to block- he knew karate! It just goes to show, you can learn the most important things in the most unusual places
Our youth group leader told us that God works like this; even though we can't see it, he actually teaches us something whether we know it or not. He also said life is like a hall of mirrors or those mazes you see made of bushes. It's hard to get through them because you don't know where you're going and you keep bumping into those things. It'd be easier to see it from the top, right? Well, God does, and that is how he helps us get through the maze or hall, i.e. life.
Onto another subject, I'm sure you've all heard that, days after the new year started, John Travolta's son, Jett, died of a fatal seizure while on vacation. It's tragic to lose a child at any time. However, the media has been quick to speculate if Jett's apparent kawasaki disease is the real reason behind this. People are already gossiping that he was autistic. It's one thing to start rumors like this when he is alive. But, come on, he just died. Have some respect. We shouldn't need to care about how he died. Can't we just say how tragic this is for the family and move on? Go easy on the family and don't start gossip about Jett; he just died for goodness sake!
Our youth group leader told us that God works like this; even though we can't see it, he actually teaches us something whether we know it or not. He also said life is like a hall of mirrors or those mazes you see made of bushes. It's hard to get through them because you don't know where you're going and you keep bumping into those things. It'd be easier to see it from the top, right? Well, God does, and that is how he helps us get through the maze or hall, i.e. life.
Onto another subject, I'm sure you've all heard that, days after the new year started, John Travolta's son, Jett, died of a fatal seizure while on vacation. It's tragic to lose a child at any time. However, the media has been quick to speculate if Jett's apparent kawasaki disease is the real reason behind this. People are already gossiping that he was autistic. It's one thing to start rumors like this when he is alive. But, come on, he just died. Have some respect. We shouldn't need to care about how he died. Can't we just say how tragic this is for the family and move on? Go easy on the family and don't start gossip about Jett; he just died for goodness sake!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Just another one of those nights
Right now it's about 7:45 at night on Jan. 1, but it feels like the night I had two nights ago. Let me explain.
I'm not a big fan of my basement. There really isn't much down there. Basically it's a laundry room, a bathroom, a TV no one really watches, an elliptical, and a treadmill. Usually basements are a lot bigger and have like big-screen TVs, a nice sofa, a big table, sometimes a pool table, etc.
However, a lot has happened down here for me. You see, half the time I come down there is when I'm very angry with my family. I've cried, vented, screamed, slammed things, and even panicked down there.
Well two nights ago, I was doing the laundry down there and I guess some stuff was coming back to me. One thing I remembered was Christmas when my mom yelled at me from the other side of the house about how I didn't do the laundry right. I didn't want that to ruin my holidays (if I did, I'd feel awful, which was the last thing I wanted on Christmas).
One remembrance led to another and I got so angry out of nowhere. I knew I felt angry by the way I was breathing and how I pretty much stormed upstairs to slam the laundry basket on my parents' bed. After I calmed down a bit, my whole body went numb and I felt dizzy. Then, of course, we had dinner together (sometimes my sisters and I will eat at the bar while my mom and stepdad eat on the other side of the living room on the couch; this time was at the table).
Tonight wasn't much different. Again, I felt angry (I was also listening to Three Days Grace, not my best idea), felt dizzy afterwards, and saw our table set up to have everyone eat together.
This happens before. Sometimes I get dizzy after I'm angry, but it hasn't happened in a while. Plus, this happened so randomly and kind of fast.
While I'm on the topic, there is a difference between mad and angry: Mad is in-the-moment, angry is about the past and almost bitter (not that it's always a bad kind of bitter).
So while it's January 1, it kind of feels like December 30.
I'm not a big fan of my basement. There really isn't much down there. Basically it's a laundry room, a bathroom, a TV no one really watches, an elliptical, and a treadmill. Usually basements are a lot bigger and have like big-screen TVs, a nice sofa, a big table, sometimes a pool table, etc.
However, a lot has happened down here for me. You see, half the time I come down there is when I'm very angry with my family. I've cried, vented, screamed, slammed things, and even panicked down there.
Well two nights ago, I was doing the laundry down there and I guess some stuff was coming back to me. One thing I remembered was Christmas when my mom yelled at me from the other side of the house about how I didn't do the laundry right. I didn't want that to ruin my holidays (if I did, I'd feel awful, which was the last thing I wanted on Christmas).
One remembrance led to another and I got so angry out of nowhere. I knew I felt angry by the way I was breathing and how I pretty much stormed upstairs to slam the laundry basket on my parents' bed. After I calmed down a bit, my whole body went numb and I felt dizzy. Then, of course, we had dinner together (sometimes my sisters and I will eat at the bar while my mom and stepdad eat on the other side of the living room on the couch; this time was at the table).
Tonight wasn't much different. Again, I felt angry (I was also listening to Three Days Grace, not my best idea), felt dizzy afterwards, and saw our table set up to have everyone eat together.
This happens before. Sometimes I get dizzy after I'm angry, but it hasn't happened in a while. Plus, this happened so randomly and kind of fast.
While I'm on the topic, there is a difference between mad and angry: Mad is in-the-moment, angry is about the past and almost bitter (not that it's always a bad kind of bitter).
So while it's January 1, it kind of feels like December 30.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Things I've figured out
Happy new year! Here are a few things I've realized in the past couple of months:
1. The difference between a hostess and a wife: One serves you wine, the other serves you whine
2. I can't focus on anything (and when I say anything, I mean anything)
3. If I were in college, I'd major in Whine
4. I don't care if people hate me for no reason because I hate them for no reason, too
5. I know some of the saddest people, yet I have the time of my life with them. It's the people with great lives that bore the heck out of me
6. I can't sit/stand still
7. I enjoy doing things I suck at (for example, sports)
8. I don't like talking on the phone. I lisp, I stutter, and I never sound interested. I'd rather text or go on AIM and risk getting carpal tunnel
9. Video games are stupid and sometimes pointless...and I can't get enough of them
10. I'm too girly to be a tomboy and too tomboyish to be girly
11. I'm like a nerd from an 80's sitcom: not really ugly, 1 or 2 close friends, does good in school, reads some sort of weird genre of literature, and will end up making a ton of money in their 30's (I look forward to it)
12. I always rush things. Even if I have 3 months to do something, I'll try to finish the whole thing before the week is over
13. I talk like people care what I say
14. Growing up, I didn't like people that didn't want kids or didn't know if they wanted kids, were way too hard on themselves, were arrogant, were picky about people they like, that complain a lot...then I grew up to be that person and my perspective changed
15. Reality shows bore me. I'll watch some of it, record the rest after the first commercial, then never see it again
16. My junior year of high school has made me an overachiever
17. I play pool like Scooby-Doo and Shaggy solve mysteries: I only do good on accident
18. I think I'm a perfectionist, so I wish everything I do could be a thousand times better
19. I read this somewhere:
The word "word" backwards is drow. "Drow are, on the whole, sadistic, arrogant, cruel, destructive, hedonistic, and treacherous. Their eternal game of advancement at the expense of others, which is encouraged by the spider goddess herself, has transformed the dark elves into a race of scheming backstabbers eager to increase their own stations by pulling down those ahead of them and crushing their inferiors underfoot"
1. The difference between a hostess and a wife: One serves you wine, the other serves you whine
2. I can't focus on anything (and when I say anything, I mean anything)
3. If I were in college, I'd major in Whine
4. I don't care if people hate me for no reason because I hate them for no reason, too
5. I know some of the saddest people, yet I have the time of my life with them. It's the people with great lives that bore the heck out of me
6. I can't sit/stand still
7. I enjoy doing things I suck at (for example, sports)
8. I don't like talking on the phone. I lisp, I stutter, and I never sound interested. I'd rather text or go on AIM and risk getting carpal tunnel
9. Video games are stupid and sometimes pointless...and I can't get enough of them
10. I'm too girly to be a tomboy and too tomboyish to be girly
11. I'm like a nerd from an 80's sitcom: not really ugly, 1 or 2 close friends, does good in school, reads some sort of weird genre of literature, and will end up making a ton of money in their 30's (I look forward to it)
12. I always rush things. Even if I have 3 months to do something, I'll try to finish the whole thing before the week is over
13. I talk like people care what I say
14. Growing up, I didn't like people that didn't want kids or didn't know if they wanted kids, were way too hard on themselves, were arrogant, were picky about people they like, that complain a lot...then I grew up to be that person and my perspective changed
15. Reality shows bore me. I'll watch some of it, record the rest after the first commercial, then never see it again
16. My junior year of high school has made me an overachiever
17. I play pool like Scooby-Doo and Shaggy solve mysteries: I only do good on accident
18. I think I'm a perfectionist, so I wish everything I do could be a thousand times better
19. I read this somewhere:
The word "word" backwards is drow. "Drow are, on the whole, sadistic, arrogant, cruel, destructive, hedonistic, and treacherous. Their eternal game of advancement at the expense of others, which is encouraged by the spider goddess herself, has transformed the dark elves into a race of scheming backstabbers eager to increase their own stations by pulling down those ahead of them and crushing their inferiors underfoot"
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