Back for More 1 AM Blogging

You have no idea how hard it is to miss you.  Sitting here alone, in a place I no longer enjoy, knowing I could be somewhere else with you.  After a while I get fed up with getting my hopes up only to find out last-minute that you're not coming.  It's nice knowing you can provide for yourself, and for me, in the long run, but it's still so hard.  When I'm with you, I cry from laughing.  When I'm not, I cry because I miss laughing with you.  Being with you makes me see a future for myself.  A happy future.  One I look forward to.  One with you.  But it gets harder to see the future when you know it can never be in your present.  I know you have important things to worry about, some more important than me, but you're important to me, too.  Seeing you once or twice every two weeks is never easy for either of us.  I never wanted to be your top priority, but I would like to know that I'm a priority.  I know you're trying your hardest, but textual conversations aren't enough to make me happy.  I wish I could see your face.  I wish I could hold you.  I wish I could see you no matter how you're feeling - happy, sad, angry, sick, whatever.  Life is so much easier when you're around.  So where are you now...